A Jumping Headache

As you walk into Jump Charlottesville, you hear the screams of little children and pre-pubescent boys. A room full of trampolines, a kid’s dream come true, but there is a sinister side to all of the fun. Twenty-two trampoline-related deaths occurred between 2000 and 2009, according to the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission.

All the over protectiveness of modern society will evaporate as soon as you enter this time-locked temple. Not only is dodgeball, a game that infowars.com says one New Hampshire school BANNED, allowed, it is played on trampolines and has its own blocked off area just for slinging balls at anybody.

You may think that these dodgeball battles are six-on-six melees of six years olds, six a side with six balls a piece. But the sad reality is, that all too often some over sized man child ends up popping some six year old in the head.

But do not get hung up on that. We have larger issues in mind. If you choose to purchase your “ticket” on the jumpcville.com website, you will be presented with, “Please note: Children two years and younger are free with adult ticket purchase. They will however still require a waiver.”

We are just barely being able to understand Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy (CTE) effects on the brain or how it is caused, but two year olds and children even younger jumping on trampolines, shaking up their little brains will in no way protect them from what appears to be a crippling disease.

I know it seems bad, but if you add in the wild 13-year-olds, or the drunk 18-year-olds  running in like bulls in a china shop with a crew to match, it only gets worse. These “trampoline factories” are advertised to children, to teens, to college students and they are all allowed free range indiscriminately. I know that I can look back and see my terrible 12-year-old self coming in hot and taking out someone’s baby and having irreversible consequences.